Thursday, November 26, 2015

Happy Thanksgiving



I got through Shark Week only to have Thanksgiving bearing down on me like the 3:40 Eastbound.  I have been drowning in a sea of naughty Christmas ornaments (the party is the 4th), Christmas stockings (supposed to be up tomorrow, one will be up Saturday, the other will be up some time before New Years I hope), gifts (once the ornaments are done) and writing (I have five, five, stories in progress.  Shakespeare help me.  But I have been keeping up on everything but the reading and the Bible, both of those will pick up after Festival weekend (the big days are the 5-6 but the whole week is a thing).  I also have a play party and a munch between Thanksgiving and Festival.  It's insane.

But I will take lots of pictures and share when I'm no longer treading water.

Have a happy turkey day everyone.  Now if you will excuse me, I have a parade to watch.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Could have been bigger


Pattern is Phil's Knee Warmer.  Yarn is Paton's Classic Wool in natural marl.

So I finally knit a knee warmer.  I started the bottom on #2 needles and cast on for the larger size, which got me close to gauge, and because I wanted the bottom snug to stay on.  For the knee pouch I went up to a size 4 needles and just used garter stitch instead of the pattern because the pattern, while nifty, seemed unnecessarily complicated and was lost in the marl.  And above the knee I switched to #6 needles which were way over gauge because I have pudgy thighs that taper to my knee and I wanted it to just rest over rather than stretch because things that stretch always roll down.  This is why I can never manage a compression wrap on my knee.

And it still stretched and it still slides/rolls down when I walk.  Of course.  And the knee pocket isn't doing anything, it's just stretched there.  I could have made a tube of really loose ribbing and had it work.

But with my knee up it's fitting well enough and it's keeping my more arthritic knee nice and warm.  But if I ever knit this again I'll go up to a #10.5 on my knee, that might make it big enough.  Or I'll wait until I have smaller thighs.

At least I can say I gave this one a try.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

November 07, 2015


Of course things promptly went to hell.

Unfortunately life is what it is.  My husband had a minor medical issue to deal with.  He's fine but I lost a day.  And I had the hormone drop that signals that Shark Week is right around the corner.  I haven't beaten anyone bloody but I lost a day.

Oh well, I'll catch up for a few days here.




Housekeeping goals
Utterly flopped.  I've been more or less keeping up with the laundry, that's about it.
    Cooking
    Ha.  This is why we have an Eating Out fund.  
    Keeping healthy
    Allow me to laugh again.  No, I've been eating about what I burn, so I've been keeping in place and I've been stretching a lot, that's about it.
      Reading more
      I've read through Gen 11, which means I've covered Cain and Able, Noah and the Tower of Babel. Write ups to follow, I have quite a lot to say about these things. I skipped today but I will catch up next week.  And I'm 20% in to City On Fire.
        Sewing
        Still slogging away on the Pride Flag ornaments.  All that cross-stitch is a bitch.
        Knitting
        I knit a peen.  Picture at the end of this post.
        College
        Sat through the next two lectures in History 119 while knitting said peen.  There is reading to go with this course.  I have to do more reading.
        Other
        See above re: husband and sharks


        I knit a peen.  It's actually a Christmas ornament for our local play space.  I do believe it's the silliest thing I've ever knitted.



        I used this pattern

        http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/knit-penis-chapstick-holder

        But rather than rib the shaft I knit it straight, then I stuffed it and tied off the end.  I sewed the whole thing together and tied a cock and ball harness to act as a hanger.  Then I added a split ring for some jewelry.  Might give him a bigger gauge though.

        I plan to knit at least three more, and some sets of boobies to go with.  But not while at said space tonight, this thing isn't a lot of knitting but it is a bit fiddly and the space is dark.  I want something I can see.

        Thursday, November 5, 2015

        On religion and science-fiction


        It occurred to me, as I read through the first three chapters of Genesis today, that I had to treat this as a form of fan fiction.  I’ve always thought that the bible begs to be crossed over with Stargate SG-1, and this might as well be the time to do that.

        If you’re unfamiliar with Stargate SG-1 I’ll refer you to this blog post.  Go ahead, I’ll wait.  Spares me from having to re-invent the wheel.


        With me so far?

        From what I can tell in the Bible we will be dealing with four character classes:

        Name
        Alignment
        Major characteristics
        Ori
        Neutral Evil
        Derives power from siphoning off mental energy through “worship”
        Goa’uld
        Chaotic evil
        Requires human host to survive.
        Tau’ri
        Neutral Good
        Modern humans
        Ascended Ancients
        Lawful Good
        Evolved aliens who want to help others “ascend” to a higher plane/dimension free of suffering

        (Character alignment, with examples, for the non-gamer geeks among us.)

        You can likely already see where this is going.  I’m going to simplify each character description as I go, so if you go to the Stargate wiki and find yourself drowning in details don’t worry, I’m not going to be that bad.

        The whole series starts with a corollary to Clark’s 3rd law.  The law being:

        Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic

        And the corollary shown here being:

        Any sufficiently advanced civilization can distinguish the difference between technology and magic.

        In the beginning we see a “god” using “magic” to enslave a group of humans using technology that the humans do not understand and they see as magic and miracles.  The Tau’ri don’t understand it either, but they don’t understand how it works.  They recognize what it is, advanced technology, and from there they derive that the “god” is really an alien, and one hostile to humankind.

        When you take this theory, the idea of alien using advanced technology to convince humans they’re gods and manipulation humanity for their own ends, the stories in the Bible start making a lot more sense.  This explanation even smoothes over a lot of the questions and problems people have with the Bible.  Of course it’s also pure fiction but if this interpretation is both fiction and a better fit then how can we be sure the original one is real?

        This question lead me straight to Atheism.


        Just to be clear I’m using the Youvision bible app, the KJV and the Canonical reading plan simply because it let me start now.  I want to have some wiggle room in case I miss some days over the next year.



        So in Genesis Chapter 1 we get a creation story.  That’s it.  It’s not a particularly good creation story, I find the Navajo stories much more entertaining, but as creation myths go it’s all right.  It’s also completely incorrect, science has proven that, but as a historical document, a record of how those people at that time thought the world came about it has some value.  The most interesting verse in the whole thing is Gen 01:29

        And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

        God wants everyone to be vegan.

        For some reason the story from Genesis 1 wraps over into Genesis 2 and doesn’t end until 02:03.  When they wrote this back in 1611* they kind of screwed that up there.

        In Gen 02:04 we start what some have called an entirely new creation story.  But upon reading this I have to disagree.  “In the day” means that it was during the time that “God” was making the earth, or claimed he was making the earth.  It says that he lifted a man from the ground and breathed him into life.  Now we know that’s not possible.  But have you considered a form of transporter?



        Oh look, it just rose out of the ground!  Add an inhaler of a stimulant and all of a sudden someone who was once somewhere else, sedated, and transported is rising live from the ground.  And then he transports plants and animals and eventually even a woman.  That rib thing also makes no sense, but hey, what a good excuse for taking that tissue sample.

        We get into a bit of geography here.  Near as I can tell the writer was trying to explain that this garden, this sealed off, security gated area, was all the way over there that away.  Far from civilization at the time.

        But then we come across the whole Tree of Knowledge thing. Why oh why would this god put a tree like that in the middle of his little walled off, sealed garden?  To test their obedience.

        See, I believe that Lord God, as he’s been called since Gen 02:03, is really an Ori.  And the Ori derive energy by siphoning it off humans through “worship”.  How better to test to see if your brainwashing on your newly-acquired breeding stock is working then to put a simple test out there and see if they fall for it.  Make the result of their failure something obvious and easily visible, like...nudity!  If they suddenly freak out over being naked that’s an obvious sign that something’s gone wrong.

        In Gen. 03 something does indeed go wrong.  A Goa’uld shows up.  The Goa’uld are serpent-like parasites that require human hosts to survive.  In the Stargate SG-1 universe it’s argued that they are actually most of the “gods” out there, especially of the Eqyptian pantheon. 

        According to Christian scholars all this was happening around 6,000 BCE.  According to Wikipedia that puts us squarely in the middle of the Neolithic period.

        People were farming then.  They were building cities.  In India they were sorting out copper and in China they were learning to write.  Humans were starting the long march towards becoming the Tau’ri.  They were, in other words, entirely useful at that point, a useful resource on a planet full of useful resources.  And here was this Ori, right in the middle of it all, setting up his own little breeding farm.  No self respecting Goa’uld is going to allow that competition to stand.

        But they can’t attack directly.  That could lead to thermonuclear size war and ruin this lovely, lush little planet.  So the Goa’uld had to get all Cold War sneaky about it.  So he snuck in there, through the security perimeter, and talked the breeding stock into breaking the rule.  And other than realizing they were naked exactly nothing happens.

        Nothing

        There was no good reason for them not to eat of that tree, other than that LG said not to.

         LG comes back, gets a quick visual that the brainwashing isn’t holding as well as he would like, and has a temper tantrum equivalent to “I was going to make you special!  I was going to take care of you!  Now you can just go out and get a job like everyone else!”

        So Adam and Eve do just that.  And LG sticks a guard with a lightsaber at the gate to his compound to keep them out. 

        Notice what scares LG the most though.  Humans knowing the difference between good and evil.  Humans having knowledge.

        See, the whole thing still hangs together.




        *  FYI, the bible was not faxed down from heaven

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_James_Version

        The book I'm reading was published in 1611.  It has a great deal of historical significance, but that's about it.

        Wednesday, November 4, 2015

        November 04, 2015





        Housekeeping goals
        On top of my daily work, which I will lay out in a future post, today I:
        • Picked up the living room and dining room
        • Dusted the living room, dining room and hallway
        • Vacuumed the living room, dining room and hallway
        • And I finished two loads of laundry and washed one more
        Cooking
        Today I made a pot of white rice to go with the leftover Chinese we're having for dinner.
        Keeping healthy
        1.  No gym today, I'm still rehabbing some muscle spasms from the last time I went.  I've been stretching after every bathroom visit and things are finally loosening up for me.
        2.    Didn't do too badly on the snack front
        3. I took in approximately 3,588 (the beef chow yuk is tricky) and according to my Fitbit used 3,454 at bedtime.  Granted I'll continue to burn some overnight but that still wasn't the best bookkeeping there.

        Reading more
        1. I read chapters 1-3 of Genesis.  A write up will come out tomorrow
        2. I'm reading City on Fire: The Explosion that Devastated a Texas Town and Ignited a Historic Legal Battle which I will be calling City on Fire from here on out.  I'm 10% done
          Sewing
          I made six rows on the cross-stitched Leather Pride flag ornament.  I plan to publish charts when I'm through.
          Knitting
          I'm making a Knee Warmer, and I worked on that instead of on the sock tonight.  The problem with the warmer is the basket weave pattern over the knee.  To me it's unnecessarily complicated and confusing.  I ended up ripping it back when I lost count and worked it in garter stitch instead.  Worked up quickly and we. With the change.  I should have it done by the week-end.

          College
          I started History 119:  The Civil War and The Reconstruction Era 1845-1877 from Yale Open Courses, and watched the first lecture.
          Other
          Last night was a munch, and we slept late

          Going back to the beginning

          I started this blog in November of 2013 with a statement of intent:


          Time wasting in the Bay Colony was a criminal offense. As early as 1633 the General Court decreed:


          No person, householder or other, shall spend his time idly or unprofitably under pain of such punishment as the court shall think meet to inflict: and for this end it is ordered, that the constables of every place shall use special diligence to take knowledge of offenders of this kind, especially of common coasters, unprofitable fowlers and tobacco takers, and to present the same. 



          A year later the Court fined two men the heavy sum of twenty shillings each for "misspending their time" - David Hackett Fisher
                      Albion's Seed





          So what is the modern Puritan ideal?  Well, from reading the blogs and websites devoted to this ideal in theory it involves being submissive to god and you husband and raising children who are submissive to god and their father.  But in reality this is what they seem to aspire to:
          • Keeping perfectly clean houses at all times (Or just long enough to take the show-off picture)
          • Wearing skirts every day (and bragging about it)
          • Look entirely perfect, slender and ethereal  (Even though they rarely exercise)
          • Creating three home cooked meals a day (made with lots of processed crap and rarely complete meals)
          • Being well read (even though they only ever seem to read books put out by Vision Forum and Jane Austen)
          • Doing handcrafts like proper ladies (although this is usually paper and glue.  If any sewing is involved it's simple lines only.)
          • Having the equivalent of a college education (even though they never leave home and usually stop homeschooling around the age of 12 when they have to start looking after little siblings)
          • Run a home business (even if it's really a multi-level marketing scheme)
          • And of course all the while having ideal relationships with everyone.
          This is the question then, can you have this so-called perfect life, this Puritan ideal, even while being irreligious, liberal, feminist, and very pro-alt-sexuality?

          I believe you can. 




          I missed my goals that year, all of them, due to a lot of real-world influences.  I had a major health scare for one.  My husband's employment was an ongoing issue.  And I had a lot of negative people in my life who sucked away a lot of my time and energy.  2013 was not the best year for me.  2014 and 2015 have been about improving a lot of things I thought I had nailed down in my life, but I really didn't.

          Now that 2016 is around the corner I'm thinking of going back to the roots of this blog and seeing if I can live that heavenly year.  If nothing else as a personal challenge.  And blogging about it simply for the public accountability.  I doubt more than two or three people are reading this, but that's not important.  What matters is that I'm doing this for myself, as a personal goal.

          So my thoughts on challenging myself:
          • Meeting my housekeeping goals.  I have lists I try to complete every day, nearly every week.  My goal is to finish those lists 46 weeks out of the year.  (I take one week off in early December for volunteer work, the week of my in-laws visit, and four weeks a year when I go off the HRT which knocks me squarely on my ass.)

          • Wearing skirts everyday.  My personal uniform is built around skirts, so I do this anyway.  On any given day I'm wearing
          1. A white tank top
          2. A denim or cotton gauze skirt, depending on the weather
          3. A flannel or cotton over shirt, depending on the weather
                    Given that I'm not going to bother with this one.
          • Eating fresh food.  We've found that it's a lot easier when we cook large batches of simple, healthy foods and then build plates from the fridge every night.  I'll share our current diet and what I cook as I do, but don't expect grand nightly suppers.  With only two adults on slightly different diets there's no point.

          • Keep healthy.  For me this means
            1. Getting to the gym three times a week, joint problems permitting
            2. Staying away from too many snacks during the day
            3. Hopefully losing about 40 lbs this year
            At less than a pound a week it's a fairly modest goal, but it's one I think I can reach.
          • Read more.  All of the bible in one year?  Might as well get that chore over with.  On top of that I'm going to read 4 of their favorites, 4 off the ALA list and 4 non-fiction.  This is a cut back from my last list because I just don't have the time I thought I did.  I might get a head start on the bible this week so I can slack a bit in the year if I have to.

          • Complete 6 embroidery/hand sewing projects.  I originally shot for 12 but these things take a lot more time than I thought.  Allowing 2 months per project is more realistic.  I'm including patchwork in this one, because quilting is also a massive time suck.

          • Complete 12 knitting projects, I can do it, I know I can

          • Sit through three college lectures a week.  I watch while I sew, or will.  Only three because one must allow time for some porn.

          • To be a 'helpmeet' to my husband, take some FEMA certification courses.  My husband is getting back into volunteer emergency services this year.  I don't plan to join him in the field but they might want someone willing to help out with the paperwork back at the station.

          • Save $15,000 this year.  This is a new one (yay for female led households!)  We want a healthy emergency cushion and we've decided this is the year to do it.  I also plan a few larger purchases off our In Case Of Emergency list.

          • Host 5-6 Littles & Pets parties at our local play space.  This is a BDSM thing.  A Littles & Pets party is a non-sexual gathering where people who enjoy playing as a little or a pet can come and have a good time in a safe space.  As the Keeper of the local Dungeon Kitty we've agreed to help organize these to take some work off our DM.  My goal is to have one every two months, perhaps skipping August.

          • Blogging.  Daily, for accountability.

          So those are my goals for 2016.  Here's to hoping I can meet them.

          Sunday, November 1, 2015

          Definition of a butt load



          As it turns out there actually is a definition for a "butt load."  It's defined as two hogsheads.  

          Eventually, a hogshead of wine came to be 63 US gallons (52.5 imp gal; 238.5 L), while a hogshead of beer or ale is 54 gallons (250 L if old beer/ale gallons, 245 L if imperial). A hogshead was also used as unit of measurement for sugar in Louisiana for most of the 19th century.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogshead

          I did not use that many pins to block out my November project, but it was close.


          Yup, my bog Kitty's stocking is done.  Or mostly done.  It's blocking today, this week I'll finish it into an actual stocking.  I love the way it came out but I've decide that I don't love needlepoint as a discipline.  It's too imprecise.  You have blobs of color on a canvas you fill in. which means that at times you may have four colors to choose from for a single stitch, and no chart to guide you.  You just look at the too-small picture on the front and give it your best guess,  Then afterward you lay long bits of floss to define the lines you did not color in well.  I'll stick to cross-stitch and the precision of a chart or free-embroidery and lines to follow, thank you.  

          Nothing else I had planned for October is finished.

          The fuzzy socks for said kitty to wear to the dungeon are just under half, meaning I have about ten rows left on the first sock.  The tea cozy he wants is just over half, as I've done about ten rows on the lining.

          At the moment I have jumped ship and am working on a knee warmer for myself, perhaps two, as this is turning out to be the year that arthritis Is A Thing.  Take it from your Auntie Annie, don't get old and fat.  Since everyone gets old your best bet is to avoid the fat part as much as possible.

          What's driving me nuts is that I eat about 2,700-3,000 calories/day, thanks to religious worship of My Fitness Pal and my food scale.  On an average day I burn about 3,000-3,500, so I come out about even to a very little ahead.  On the days I go to the gym that number magically jumps to 4,000-4,500, or so says the all hallowed Fitbit, meaning I come out seriously ahead.  But with my bad knees, tight IT bands and tight quads I can't manage to get there every day without throwing something off that wants a weeks rest.  At the moment it's my left hamstring.  Hopefully when this one heals I can try three days a week at least, but I'm staying off the treadmill, I think that's what did it this time.  If I can manage an easy walk on my non-gym days I ought to be able to manage a 6,000 calorie a week defect, which ought to be good for at least a pound and a half.  

          Not a clue what my goal weight is, that doesn't seem to mean much for me.  My goal is to come up to 20% body fat on a dunk test, which is the most golden standard I can get around here.  At the moment I'm at approximately 30%, using an average of calipers and electrical impedance, which is an estimate at best, but only costs $10 to run.  When that estimate comes back at 20% I'll go pony up the $25 and all the pain in the ass for the dunk tank.

          I'm wandering off topic, which is about knitting.

          So at the moment on the needles I have:

          1)  Phil's Knee Warmer, in Patons marled wool

          2)  The Kitty's socks. in KnitPicks Imagination in a purple that no longer exists

          3)  The Grandmother Shawl in Mountain Color's Twizzle in a red that no loner exists 

          4)  The Odds-Bodkins Tea Cozy in Red Heart standard in mulberry, which is some lovely mottled purple that I think is only sold at Wally World and lined in Wool-ease in denim blue.  (There are some yarn colors I can only find there.  Evil is what it is)

          5)  Holiday decorations for the dungeon, namely peens and boobies, in Vanna's Choice in Fisherman and Taupe and Pink and some blue because it's a thing and whatever scraps I come up with for ropes hangers.  There are lots of peen and boobie patterns out there. I have yet to decide which I'm using.

          6)  Flag ornaments for the dungeon, which will consist of taking scraps of 14 Aida and cross-stitching little pride flags, then backing them with felt and hanging them.  Nothing fancy there but I think it will be nice.

          7)  The Stitchers Studio stocking, which is my counterpart to his, which is not even started because the cloth is on order.

          And he wants/is getting more Doo Rags in MLP fabrics.

          And it *all* needs to be done by December.  I do believe this number of projects can be described as a butt load.

          I may have lost my mind.  I sure as Hadies should not be sitting here writing instead of making.

          I'm going to use my time laid up off my hamstring to make.  A lot of make.

          Wish me luck.