May 2017

Let's try this again, shall we?

• Books:  Gods and Generals by Jeff Shaara
• Embroidery: Stitchers Studio Stocking, because I finally got the light back
• Quilting & Sewing: Tabled because that room is a mess. So clean up that room.
• Crochet: A Kitty Cat cushion for the couch. Or at least the first half of one.
• Knitting: A Rainbow Wingspan, still.  At 6 rows/day, which is about what I can focus on right now, this thing should take another 6 weeks.  Which means I will be adding another project to it.  But this is my priority. 
• TV: Catch up on CM, once the season is over and we know if there is Aftercare or not.
• Writing: Finish Least Expected, try to get something going.  Maybe.  Hopefully.
• Personal stuff: Focus on checking BG 5x daily.  Resume daily workout routine.
• The House:  Clean up he Room of Many Hobbies.  It's bad in there people.

And so it goes...

Yep, still not feeling good however many weeks later.

But I think I may have pinpointed the problem.  It's called the Dawn Effect.  The TL:DR is that your body dumps glucose into the system to help you wake up and get moving.  Usually between 4 and 5 am.  Right about when we're having breakfast. Including toast and jam.

Carbs are evil.

I used to get really bad Somogyi rebounds, but apparently that has changed.  The way you deal with a Somogyi issue is to eat right before you go to bed and right when you get up, which is what I have been doing, and which is likely making it worse.

This is a result of simple age.  Ironically, also getting healthy.  I'm more sensitive to Cortisol and have more Growth Hormones going as well.  Go me.

I might also just be at the point of needing some medication, which I'm willing to try again, if only to shake off this constant exhaustion.  It sucks it that badly.  But there's also exercise and cutting out all the simple carbs, or at least the early morning ones.

And I just bought bagels too.  And bread.  Sigh.

Now I get to figure out how to jigger my day to get away from most carbs.  Although the bread is high protein/high fiber so it might be okay.  And lighter dinners, which as a mostly-vegetarian is not that hard.  (Kitty is a vegetarian.  I like to eat meat once a week to keep the amino acids in check.  When we eat out I eat meat, but I don't cook it at home anymore.)

Also, fried stuff is bad.  Highly fatty rich stuff is bad.  I don't eat a lot of those, but when I do I pay for it the next day.  Horribly.

The hard part of all of this is finding ways to self-sooth that don't involved carbs and fats.  Because that is all I learned growing up.  I need to do better for myself.  Much better for myself.

It's the first of the month-ish.  Goals coming up.

I think I found the problem

I spend a remarkable amount of time being sick.

Not hugely sick.  Not catastrophically sick.  Just a little sick.  A little runny nose, a little wheezy lungs, a bump in the blood sugar.  Just enough to make me feel crappy.  Just enough to throw any meaningful productivity to the winds.  Knitting?  Sewing?  Reading?  I have just enough energy to browse Reddit, thanks.

I was sick from Christmas to the middle of February, and then started up again around April 1.  Throw in shark week and out of the 16 weeks of the year so far I've been energetic and productive for 6 of them.  Ten weeks down the bunghole.  And the weeks where I have been healthy I've spent at least a day or two in the bathroom, if you know what I am delicately trying not to say.

I have a doctor's appointment next month to see what's going on, because this has been a pattern all my life and I'm done with it.  This needs to either be fixed or recognized and worked around. 

The big problem that I have with it is that it sneaks up on you.  You don't really feel catastrophically ill, just a little off and then a little more and then you realize that your temperature is hovering just under 100 and your blood glucose is just over 200 and that sound you hear isn't the Siamese, it's your lungs wheezing.  And pretty much anything you take is going to throw something else off, but you never really realized before and always just thought you were lazy.

Maybe it's not lazy.  Maybe it's sick.

So I am once again trying something new.  A). Blogging more often to keep track of this (I know!  I know!) and B). Scheduling my life like I'm always sick.  Giving myself breaks during the day.  Letting myself just take some couch time.  Working on smaller chunks.

Will keep you posted.

________

Writing has not been going well.  Two reasons.

1 - I write Criminal Minds fan fiction.  I write other stuff as well but Spencer Reid is my muse.  I tend to write other stuff better if I put him in my world first and use him to explore.  The problem with that being that of late the CM writers have put Reid in a horrible situation and I simply cannot clear out my head until I know the cannon version will be okay.  I haven't even been able to watch.  I'm going to binge watch the first week of June and catch up.

2 - There's this online RP site that I've been involved with off and on for the past 20-ish years.  It's a place where you can design and DM your own games or join others.  Back in January I had an idea for a game based on my Tau Ceti story series,.  I floated it to friends, who were enthusiastic, and so we got a game going.  It's been sucking down all my writing energy ever since.

Ah well.  I have ideas.  Maybe one of them will pan out.

________

Crafting is crafting.  Eight hundred yards of fingering is a lot of tiny garter stitch.  You have to be healthy to stitch on a 32 canvas.  Things will get done eventually.  I have lots of stash now.

I will write more in the near future.