The Growing Seasons books series

 

So ever since the start of the Pandemic I have been super into all things warm and cozy.  I've completed a nearly handmade gallery wall, done more than my share of knitting, and will likely be done with a crocheted afghan by Christmas.  And that's on top of the baking, cooking, gardening....you get the idea.  

If you want cozy the Growing Seasons series is for you.  This series has been a big inspiration for all that.  Melinda Foster is a not-quite middle aged woman who loses her job and her cat, sadly, in short order, and then had the chance to move home to help with the family business.  Home is in the coziest small town, and she rents a farm and...

No more spoilers.  Total low stakes cozy.  Think Legends and Lattes, but set in the current world with a country music soundtrack.  If you want a series of books that are, perhaps not the best written, but are as cozy as a quilt on a cold night then these are the books for you.

Now I'm going to once again go tell my wife that we don't have the spoons between us to raise sheep.

Back. Kinda.

Image by SerpantMistress on DeviantArt.

So the last time I posted was literally right before the pandemic.  Literally.

Honestly the pandemic was good for me.  Kitty got to work from home, which did wonders for our bottom line, and our marriage.  Our friend group bonded in new and wonderful ways.  My physical and mental health improved.  I even found a new muse or two.

What I haven't been doing much is writing.  Hard when you share an office.

She went back to the office six weeks ago.  So I'm back.

I'll be updating all the sidebars tomorrow, or thereabouts.

So true

So where did the year go anyway?

I have no idea.

At this point I don't recall the spring at all.  The summer went up in a whole lot of smoke and staying indoors.  An in the fall we lost the car (again) so I've been staying home more than usual.

Christmas, however, has been entirely awesome.

We kept it very low key and focused on the traditions that really mattered.  Okay, I couldn't go out and Do All The Things, but that turned out okay, I didn't have All The Anxiety to go with it.  No car sickness, no stress, no nothing.  We watched all sorts of holiday movies (yes, Die Hard is a Christmas movie), baked a ton of cookies (health be dammed) and had actually gifts under the tree (I got a Kindle!!!).

Giving Kitty her gifts was the best part (it was awesome!!). I've come to accept that one of my Love Languages is giving and receiving gifts, so being able to put stuff under the tree meant a lot.  So did finally finding copies of my Grandmother's old cookie recipes online.  Suck it Nanny, I bake the good stuff now. 

So yea, it's been a cozy, stress free, awesome holiday at last.  I've loved every minute of it.  And as far as I'm concerned the "season" is still going.  It's a thing until the Saturday closest to the 15th.  There will be more movies, more egg nog and more cookies.  Life is good.

And I think that pretty much sums up how I've been feeling the past few months.  Life is good.  I'm feeling okay. Kitty finished school, finally. We found a dentist we can work with.  The pantry is full.  Yeah, it's okay,

But with all of this okay-ness, remarkably little got done this year in the way of making stuff.  I finished a few pillows, that's all.  And I never even took pictures.  Go me.

That is going to change this year.

I mean it this time.

More to come.

Agency

Sometimes agency is a problem.

Definition of agency

plural agencies

1 a : the office or function of an agent (see agent 4)

b : the relationship between a principal and that person's agent

2 : the capacity, condition, or state of acting or of exerting power : operation

3 : a person or thing through which power is exerted or an end is achieved : instrumentality

• communicated through the agency of the ambassador

4 : an establishment engaged in doing business for another

• an advertising agency

5 : an administrative division (as of a government)

• the agency for consumer protection

In my case I refer specifically to the agency of getting out of the house and doing stuff.  This issue can be broken down into three parts.

1)  I don't drive.

Now I can drive.  As a Californio I have driven quite a bit in my life.  I started driving in college, when a former cop friend taught me how.  He was calm and patient and talk me some tricks to get around my monocular vision and enormous blind spot.  Back then I would easily kick off 400 miles in a week-end, no problem.  Put some Old White Guy* music in,  pop open a Jolt cola and off I go.

But when I moved back home the Reign of Driving Terror began.  I went through four cars in twelve years, all but the last bought from my family, all of which at best received no care or maintenance over their lifetimes.  They died of something-or-other every other month, nickle and dime-ing me while I was trying to start my career, until the first three were sabotaged.  I think they were actively trying to kill me a few times there.  So figure an "accident" every two months, the car dying in the middle of an intersection or getting bullied in a repair shop** and three major accidents.

And for some reason the cops in my hometown loved to pull me over. They rarely gave me a ticket but I was pulled over for warnings at least once a month, and a few times a week one followed me closely from one end of town to the other.

I also had my tags stolen on a regular basis.  Another good reason to get pulled over.  Just so I could show them my police report.  Over and over and over again.

Now I have driving anxiety so bad I can't even drive a mile to the grocery store.  Toward the end of my driving career I tended to dissociate while driving, I would have to pull over until I re-connected with reality long enough to drive safely.  I would literally black out behind the wheel.  I combated that by eating continuously while driving, the better to stay grounded.  Not healthy for the waistline.

So now I don't drive.

2)  Our car is dead

Even if I did drive our old Buick decided to kick it, more or less.  Something electrical again, it's randomly shutting down while moving.  Not good.  And given that it's 23 years old repairing it is going to be an expensive proposition.  So it's parked except for emergencies.

But we have a back-up plan.  I qualify for paratransport.  Paratransport is what they offer when you can't drive or get to the regular bus stop, which in my case is a mile away down busy roads with no sidewalks.  And with my knees*** walking is not going to happen.  If that's the case the bring the short bus to you.

3)  I can't use paratransport.

I get really bad motion sickness.  Maybe it's the monocular vision, maybe it's all the ear infections, maybe it's just me, but riding in a car does me in anymore.  On longer trips I try to sleep, but across the valley is bad.  Sometimes even across town gets to me.  To try to deal I use all the tricks, sit in front, eyes out the window, music to distract, aromatherapy, sip ginger ail, nibble crackers, the coldest air in my face that I can.  And I make it work, mostly.  I am usually very glad when the car stops but I make it work.

None of those tricks work on the short bus.

Sit in front?  No, that's where the wheelchairs go.  Those of us who can walk get the back.  Cold air?  Nope, little old ladies wear boiled wool jackets on 90 degree days.  AC is a dream.  And if you take your fan you have to carry it.  Aromatherapy?  Not allowed.  Eating?  Not allowed.  Drinking?  Not allowed.  Seeing out the windshield?  You sit above the driver, you can see the car in front, maybe.  Music?  The driver wants to talk.  Headphones are rude.

And it's not door-to-door.  It's some random, careening around the valley.  A ten minute drive can take an hour and a half, while they pick other people up and drop them off.  They tell you to leave two hours for a one way trip.

On the last trip I was so sick when I got home that I was shaking and green.  I spent an hour and a half in that hell to spend five minutes getting a new card.  And I have to wait 30 in their office to get a ride home.  I was so sick on the way back that even the driver noticed.  I staggered in to lay on my bed for  two solid hours before I could even manage water.

I've taken to calling it the Blender of Nausea, rattling around in the back of the short bus for hours of misery at a time.

Sooooo I am using my agency.

I am staying home until we either buy a new car or move somewhere where I can travel on my bike.  I am working on getting back up and down the Hill of Doom so I can at least go over for coffee, and I will pay for an Uber to get to a Drs appointment, but otherwise I'm staying home.

My power, my decision.  Nothing out there is worth being that sick

------

*  My students used to say I liked to listen to Old White Guys.  Bruce Hornsby,  James Taylor, Robbie Robertson, Kenny Loggins.  Also A Prairie Home Companion.  It made a great soundtrack for driving across California's Central Valley.

** After the time I went in for a new tire to one of my stepfather's gypsy friends and got screamed at, literally, because I had to have four, only to call the cops to get my car back and have my mother show up to yell at me for getting into this mess and insisting that I pay the exorbitant price, I stopped going to mechanics in my home town.  It turned out the tires he sold me for new were shitty retreads, but the next time I went to a mechanic in the barrio where I was teaching.  Brand new tires, half the price, and nothing but pleasant customer service the whole time.  I took my last car to exclusively barrio mechanics and it went five years without a problem until I sold it.

***  I have a small area of osteoarthritis in my left knee, and have for a while, but ever since I tried to change my HRT I've had swelling and pain in both knees.  It's a major mobility issue but I don't see my regular doctor until October so I'm stuck until then.

It's the beginning of the school year and...

...I have been thinking about school.

Not actual school.  Kinda.  Sorta.  Maybe.  If we're talking actual school, being a forty-something type with at least a functional bachelor's degree actual school would be either going back for bachelor #2 or a Master's in something or other.  And right now a)  we can only afford one person in school, b)  Kitty is one semester away from her first bachelor's and c)  a Master's is a good way for her to advance at work.  So for the next three years or so our education budget is going to her.

But I wasn't talking actual school anyway.  School looms right up there with Christmas and Wedding in the land of Shit I Regret And Blame My Family For, it tends to come around every so often and bug me for days on end.  I missed something there.  Something wasn't right.  Something did not work.  I skated through high school and college on a combination of excellent test taking skills, work experience and bullshit.  No, really, one time I accidentally wrote a Shakespearean essay about the romance novel I'd been reading the night before and I not only got an A the professor read it out loud as an example of an excellent essay form.  Because Sr. Rosine taught us the three paragraph essay form in the third grade and it makes everything look better, I don't know.

So something was not working then and now, with the distance of memory and lots and lots of therapy I know what it was.  I lacked study skills and I lacked time management skills.

First off, study skills.  As they say on this informative web site:

Students believe that studying and doing homework are the same thing. However, they should be approached as two very distinct, separate tasks. Homework commonly consists of assignments that instructors assign to be completed at home by students. The general purpose of homework assignments is to reinforce the knowledge that you learn in the classroom. These assignments allow for extra practice, so that you can refine your skills and knowledge in a particular area.

Studying, on the other hand, refers to the time students spend on their own to go over material they learned in class. Many students think of studying as what they do to prepare for an exam; however, it is best to set aside regular time to study to be sure you understand all the concepts you are learning in class so you do not fall behind. Studying includes making flashcards, taking detailed notes, making outlines, and reading.

Nobody ever told me any of that.  No, really, I learned that today.

Part of the problem is that I went to parochial school from K to 8, meaning right through junior high.   I know now that part of what we were supposed to do in junior high was transition from homework to studying but because my school was continuous and taught by untrained instructors chosen for their religious background they didn't know that and just had us doing homework.  And because no one in my family had ever been to college or even through a college prep program no one there knew either.  (Mom was on the trade school track in high school.  Cosmetology.  She learned to be a banker through on-the-job training.). And everyone in my high school figured someone else must have taught me somewhere along the line.

So everyone said to "study" and I had no clue.  I read the textbooks, attempted to take notes in class but never knew what to do with them, and faked it as best I could.  I skated.

As for time management, even if I had known how to study I wouldn't have had time.  I watched a YouTube video today of this really sweet girl in high school talking about her after school routine.

To sum up:

3:30-5:30 - Cross-country practice
5:30-6:30 - Snack, shower, rest, organize class notes
6:30-7:00 - Dinner
7:00-9:00 - Study
9:00-10:00 - Free time to pursue own interests
10:00 - Bed

I'm honestly kind of shocked.  My routine went something like this:

3:30-5:30 - Theater rehearsal
5:30-6:30 - Cook dinner
6:30 - 7:00 - Dinner
7:00 - 7:30 - Clean kitchen
7:30 - 8:00 - Help Grandfather with his mail and meds
8:00-11:00 - "Family Time"/watch TV (yes, we all had to watch TV together.)
11:00 - Bed

The reason why I didn't work at home was because my stepfather, Ex #2, did not allow reading in the house.  Reading was selfish and self-centered and useless, and just reminded him of his ex wife and was rubbing in his illiteracy.  So I did what I could at school and left my books there, for fear he would hit me for reading in front of him.  He did that to his other kids.  Even when I was in my room he'd shout down the heavens until Mom had me put my books away and come out.

So to keep him calm and placid we all sat in the living room for three hours a night and watched TV together.  No books, no knitting, no talking.  Just silently watching TV.

So if you figure five nights of work a week times two hours of studying that's 10 hours I didn't have to work with. Even if I had known what I was doing I still would have been behind.  But if I had known perhaps I wouldn't have been as behind.

So through the magic that is the internet maybe I'll get to actually learn how to study now.  Maybe I can figure out this take notes thing and read more.  Maybe I can prove to myself that I actually can do it.

And maybe in a few years I'll prove to myself that I can do college too.

Walkies

So there is a chance the apocalypse might not come off after all.

A welcome change in the weather has given us a hint of autumn and the possibility of clearer skies across the Medford area for the foreseeable future.

“Until Wednesday, everyone can breathe a breath of fresh air,” said Shad Keene, meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Medford.

Past Wednesday, Keene said it looks like the area should get more variable weather conditions that could help usher in some rainfall in September.

As soon as Monday morning, there is a chance of light rainfall in the region, he said.

Considering the variable weather, Keene said it’s unlikely we’ll see much in the way of unhealthy air in the days ahead, though we’ll likely still get some smoke from the 87,701-acre Klondike fire to the west of Grants Pass and the 1,971-acre Ramsey Canyon fire north of Sams Valley.

Which meant I was actually able to go for a short walk this morning.  Much to the shock of my knees and lungs.  Being stuck more or less indoors for 45 days will do that to you.  Time to start with the whole working out thing again.

And after going walkies I made

• Southwestern pulled chicken
• Vegetarian Tortilla Soup
• "Turkey" tamale bake 
• Roasted onions and peppers

I substitute Boca burgers for the turkey in the tamale bake,  add a can of black beans to the soup, shred the chicken meat and throw it back in after thickening the sauce with a bit of cornstarch slurry.  I serve it over rice with the onions and peppers

I also finished the clothing laundry for the week.  Three loads folded, hung, and put away.

And now I am tired.